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Answering the Hard Questions
Natasha Marin
United StatesGALLERYCONVERSATION
I am Caribbean—my identity is the result of my birth. But this is about honesty, so let me clarify: I am not really Caribbean.
Preface: Being female is such an integral part of my experience on this planetOn a daily basis, I am reminded of my skin color more than my gender. I am a product of in-betweeness, and I feel like that ambiguity is the closest thing I’ll ever have to an identity.
So that being said, I need to admit that maybe I am just American after all. But it doesn’t feel right. I have two Trinidadian parents and I was raised in a Trinidadian household, eating Trinidadian food, all the while hugging trees and saving baby whales one-at-a-time in Canada.
I moved to Spartanburg, South Carolina from Colorado Springs, when I was thirteen. In Colorado, I was treasured like the South Park character, Token. Being the beloved “token,” definitely had its perks. For one, I had no competition—certain things were established (I was black, they were white) and having a pleasant disposition and a captive audience, I proceeded to prove that I was indeed an exception (maybe there are more?!) to the media’s oh-so-generous representations of black people.
You aren’t like the others was something I heard a lot in South Carolina. That, along with quips like Pretty for a black girl and You talk white followed me through the halls of my middle school. I promise my latent angst will not become rabid and consume me, but I do have to say, that as the perpetual “new girl,” my lack of success at practicing stealth was no less than tragic. She thinks she’s better than us followed me home at night.
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