IMOW - Skin Deep

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Skin Deep
Gwen Ong

United Kingdom

GALLERY

CONVERSATION

A few weeks after my tenth birthday, my grandmother's favorite sister-in-law casually called me an ugly girl.

I tried to beautify myself in lots of different ways and even resorted to using Hazeline Snow - a skin cream my Grandfather had bought and tried to convince me would lighten my skin by virtue of the fact that it was white! I used it once before I laid the bottle to rest in the freezer where Grandma later found it among the chicken wings and trashed it.

I was already feeling insecure, and then I began to gain weight. At school the taunts about my blossoming weight, and the mean things people said about me cut deep into my self esteem. But I continued to eat three full helpings at every meal. I had convinced myself that one day the excess baggage would all magically disappear; but for a long time it didn't. I grew up with an inferiority complex, everyday becoming more aware of my physical shortcomings.

When I went to Australia to pursue my degree, my attitude shifted. I began to see the lunacy in wanting what you can't have. At university, I watched light skinned girls run to the beach to achieve the perfect tan. Desperate for a summer glow, they would lie under the sun on the university lawns in their bikini tops between lectures. Occasionally, I would catch them looking enviously at me.

But of course in many parts of the world- Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong just to name a few, it is the opposite. Women were spending tons of money on skin-whitening products and treatments. White was more than a fashion statement. It was synonymous with beauty, wealth and status.
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