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Coaching Boys into Men
Everyone needs role models. Join athletic coaches from around the U.S. as they train the next generation of men about the attitudes and behaviors that can lead to violence against women.
STATISTICS:
A survey of 4,193 men living in New York City conducted by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene found that nearly 10 percent of male participants who identified themselves as straight reported having sex with at least one man during the previous year.
According to the 2005 Stonewall Census & Survey, 9.5% of the men surveyed (women were surveyed as well), 33.3% contemplated suicide and 9.5% attempted suicide.
Delicate Veil
Travis A. Everett
United StatesGALLERYCONVERSATION
So I’m standing there,
dick in hand, going back and forth
between running
and getting it over with.


Perhaps this fear
is one stall left of rational,
yet, it’s persisted
since that day I took a leak
while seeking a way
to say ‘piss’ that doesn’t dribble
cliché, or drip soccer mom,
when I thought about how funny it would be
to pee all over the feet
of the guy to my left and run
while he’s trying to finish and put it away.

I’m not sure if that was the “man” in me
speaking, or another voice,
but it sure seems like a penile
stream-of-dominance thing to do
and it scares the piss out of me
that millennia of evolution, if just socially,
are such a delicate veil,

especially when the definition of masculinity
that rapes and pillages
within the volumes of my flesh
isn’t in a language “real men” speak.
So I’m standing there, dick in hand

wondering if the other guy
will utter ‘conquest’
in some primitive language
all over my feet
and absolutely terrified
I might understand him.


***

Once upon a time coming of age was defined by how well you faced and overcame a painful or challenging task. Coming of age today isn’t defined by a pre-set ritual; instead it’s about taking in a large volume of conflicting information and viewpoints and sorting through it to define our own, individual sense of manhood. It's a confusing process, and easy to get lost in, but it's a healthy thing. Manhood is no longer defined by a prescribed set of ideals, but by whatever we make of it.

This is a poem about the conflict between history and the present, between our physical manhood and the idea of manhood we carry in our heads. Stereotypes start somewhere, so there usually is some degree of truth behind them, and our body, with its millennia of evolution, doesn't really care about our philosophical thoughts on manhood. I don't want to be that stereotypical primal man, but he rears up his head from time to time. I still have to figure out how to come to terms with him, and this poem chronicles an instant in that struggle.

Women’s rights are an issue that still needs to be addressed worldwide, but women aren’t the only ones being held back by outdated stereotypes and traditions. Men are subjugated to stereotypes and expectations as well, they just tend to be more favorable ones. If you don't live up to society’s expectations of you as a man, you're in the same boat with all of the women who don't subscribe to their gender stereotype.

I want women to read this poem. I want men to read the poem and be encouraged to question their own perceptions, or maybe to just be encouraged, knowing someone else feels the same way. I want to make people think, and laugh, and feel uneasy all at the same time.
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(28 comments)
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Clinton Findlay
Australia
Latest Comment
ahhhh, gender differences.... annoying!
I recently saw the IMOW (online International Museum of Women) February conversation/collection… "Young Men".
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