IMOW - Living Healthy

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Living Healthy
Carnie Wilson

United States

GALLERY

CONVERSATION

The models in those magazines are not real. They are not the everyday women you see walking down the streets.

I've always tried to live a healthy life. Even at my heaviest, when I was really big, I hired a personal trainer and worked out on the treadmill. I had to walk really slowly and eventually I reached a point when even that was hard for me. For me, being that big was an awful place to be in. I couldn't use the bathroom and wipe myself without getting a cramp. I couldn't tie my shoes without my ribs hurting.

I knew that if I wanted to continue living, and if I wanted to be happy, I had to make a change. For me that change was to undergo the gastric bypass surgery. I didn't have the surgery so that I would love my body-I had the surgery to save my life, to prolong it, get healthy, and enjoy all the perks that came from being a more normal size. Through the process I never questioned who I was as a person; I just didn't like my body. I hated it.

I went from a life of pain-physically and emotionally-to a life of freedom. I really underwent a dramatic change. It was fabulous; and so much fun! I don't remember ever having felt as sexy or attractive as I did after the surgery.

After I lost weight, I felt energetic and youthful, like I was floating on air. I could do anything I wanted to. I felt really good about my body; I felt accomplished. But as wonderful as that was, I still didn't know how to address my feelings towards the change I had undergone. I was always comfortable being me and I loved myself, but my body? I didn't know how to love my body.
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