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On status and stigma
Ruth Natasha
NigeriaGALLERYCONVERSATION
Sometimes I think about my late husband. I got infected through him. He didn't know his status and forbid me from finding out...
Sometimes I don't eat breakfast because I am running late - actually now that I think of it, I'm always late. After my daughter was born I was consumed with looking after her and looking after myself. Wiza is my anchor; she is my sunshine and makes me want to go on. I want to live to see her grow up, go to school, graduate, have a boyfriend and do all those things that children do.
Initially, when I first found out I was HIV+ and my husband got sick it was very difficult to cope. It was difficult to survive because his treatment cost a lot of money and at that point, I wasn't working.  After he died, I had to run around with a two month-old baby and try to raise enough money to pay for his burial. Thankfully, I got a lot of moral support and financial aid from his family (they live in the United States). They still help me.  Even now.
I have a lady who helps with the housekeeping and looks after Wiza from time to time but in most cases I usually like to be hands-on with my daughter. This is usually very tiring for me because I need to eat well and get lots of rest so I don't risk getting any opportunistic diseases or infections.
Wiza doesn't know about my status. To be honest I don't know how to tell her. I want to wait till she's older, more mature...then I will explain and hope and pray that she understands. Right now I don't want her to experience any kind of stigma. It is very important to me that she enjoys her childhood.
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