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High & Tight
Carolyn Castiglia
United StatesGALLERYCONVERSATION
“So – d’ya hear the one about the hungry, cranky, uncomfortably fat woman and the African, jazz dancing pillows?”
“Okay, but you've been sticking your fingers up there for months now - couldn't you have noticed that a bit sooner?!”
As anyone who’s taken a Lamaze class in New York knows, weeks before you deliver your little bundle you are required to come up with a birth plan – a long, involved procedure detailing just how you want everything to go from the brand of bottled water you’d like kept by your bed to the hemp-based gift you’ll present to your midwife’s doula as she buries your placenta beneath a tree (or worse yet, shampoos your hair with it).
Now, some Lamaze instructors will tell you to beware that you remain rigid about your plan in case something goes awry, but have it nonetheless. Know where your happy place is. Vividly picture it in your mind, so that when you become bowled over by a minor contraction remembering that vacation you took to Florida as a pre-teen can soothe you through the worst pain you’ve ever felt.
During my pregnancy, I was a bit skeptical of this whole happy place/birth plan hoo-ha, but I wrote one down nonetheless. My plan was: “squat down, pop it out, wrap it up, let’s go home.” My happy place was the shores of Lake Ontario, where I would stand, facing a glorious sunset, chomping on a Coney Hot from Rudy’s, the nearby char-grill. I was ready to welcome my child.
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