الحمل
هل لديك كعكة في الفرن؟ هل تملئك بوميض متلألئ، أو تجعلك تشعرين أنك متورمة مثل سمكة كروية؟
بدءاً من القيء في الصباح، واشتهاء الطعام، إلى زيادة الوزن وضعف التحكم في البول؛ من المؤكد أن مدخلات ومخرجات الحمل تجعل أي امرأة دائمة التيقظ. قابلي الممثلة الكوميدية المقيمة في مدينة نيويورك، كارولين كاستيجليا، وهي تأخذنا في جولة شديدة الفكاهة عبر الوقائع المرحة لدورة لاماز، ومتعة التخدير، وآلام التقلصات في سرير المستشفى الواسع.
ما الذي يحدث عندما يكون الطفل غير مرغوب فيه؟ تعرفي قابلي أندريا هوبر، المولودة في النمسا، وهي أم عازبة على وشك الوضع تواجه الحمل وحدها وتسعى إلى هدم الفكرة المثالية الخلابة لدى المجتمع عن معنى أن تكوني حاملاً. وماذا إذا كان الحمل غير متاح؟ قابلي تيرتيا ألبيرتين، من جنوب إفريقيا، وهي تتعامل مع الإحباط بعد تسع دورات فاشلة من التخصيب المعملي. ما الذي ستفعله عندما يؤدي أول حمل ناجح إلى مولد "بن"، وهو طفل ميت دماغيًا ويزن "أقل ... من عبوة سكر"؟
انضمي إلى النقاش واشتركي في صفحة "اتخذي إجراءً!" الخاصة بنا، حيث تساهم نساء حول العالم بأفكارهن حول هذا الجهد البدني والعقلي لمدة تسعة أشهر. وعبر القصص الملهمة ومزيج من استكشاف الوسائط المتعددة، نتجمع من أجل أن نعبّر عن متع ومصاعب الحمل، والولادة، والرحلة الطويلة بينهما.
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After giving birth to my beautiful daughter in the month of December 2003, the meaning of the word pregnancy changed forever for me. My choice to bear our child, the child of someone I found complete faith and love with, was culminated in those precious few months before giving birth to Lyla. Never before did I feel ‘full’, like a pot of water on a really hot day. There was a feeling of fulfillment and completion. Pregnancy as my grandmother would say – cannot be put in words but felt and experienced in skin.
What were your experiences of pregnancy like? I invite and welcome you to join this conversation and share your thoughts on pregnancy
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 6:37 PM
I must say that it is better to be pregnant and know how it feels than not to have been and wish all your life for one. I am trying to get pregnant and i must say it is harder for some women and doesnt it beat ur imagination that so many women have unwanted pregnancies while some others would do almost anything to just have the morning sickness. I had a miscarriage last year after one year of trying and i can tell you it felt as real as losing a baby that was born at term. I must tell u that consciously trying to have a baby is time consuming. All i think about every month is ...o pls let me not see that red stuff. and right now i am putting on some weight and eveytime i want to start some exercise i wonder if it might stop a foetus from implanting. But i am definitely looking forward to it again even though the morning sickness was something else. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 1:16 PM
Having been one of 11 children I have lived with a woman who has spent roughly 8 1/2 yearsof her life being pregnant. Whilst this has not always been easy for her she has certainly lived what she tells me- "charlotte- when you give yourself- your very being for love- then you will be happy and find yourself.' Many woman would feel she had lost her independence, was subservient in constantly taking care of my siblings and hadn't really had a fulfilling life. My own conviction is that she is the most generous and loving woman in the world. The real proof however is that she is also the happiest woman I know. I pity those woman who see the self-giving and sacrifice of pregnancy as a burden because a child is always a blessing. As my mother has shown me, when your happiness is rooted in others you can bear almost anything. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 10:44 AM
I have been through 3 pregnancies, one of them I miscarried, and I do not want to be pregnant again. I love my children, and would like more but I do not want to go through another pregnancy to have them. All 3 pregnancies went smooth, no morning sickness, or any other difficulties up to labor and birth. However, I can't handle the changes my body goes through with the pregnancy. I don't enjoy the bulging belly, the loss of indpendence (I couldn't tie my shoes with the first one, and had the laces lose the next time so I could slip out of them), and being uncomfortable most of the time. I do not like being pregnant, even though it brings forth a blessing and lots of joy. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 8:20 AM
Unfortunate as it might be pregnancy is not a joyous occasion for many. I am sure many of us might desire a shorter gestation period, perhaps the man getting pregnant?
I remember my decision to go through natural labor and the help of a mid-wife. And how it did not work for me. After spending nearly 36 hours of contractions, I delivered my daughter through a C-section. I left the hospital after 10 days instead of 1 that i had dreamt of with painful stitches and a changed body.
I agree with Ms. Yyhanne that the body changes.
But I urge to ask you a question; do we not age if we don’t have children? If we do care for our bodies so much why is it that we cannot take care of it after giving birth? Why do we let go?
Can we not look at our strengths from within and work towards a better self-esteem than finding it in our partners, parents, religion or friends?
Awareness of better health and sex education, better diet, exercise and support groups could go a long way for those of us who feel the lack of esteem and confidence.
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 8:16 AM
i haven't had my own pregnancy yet, but i do look forward to it, and i intend to do it twice. its a beautiful thing to create life. I have been with my sister in the last stages of her two pregnancies and i can remember how much intrigue and joy i had to be able to touch and feel the baby move, feel the elbows, its knees and just naturally fall in love with it.Now its been 12 and 9 years since then and its a joy to see the kids and imagine that they were what i was touching has now become full grown life, running and jumping about the whole place.
I look forward to my pregnancy next year and i will writ to let you know how it went. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 8:13 AM
Ms. Aquino lets hope if out of your 3 children there are some girls you would remember to tell your story to them.
I wonder was the option of abortion not available to you? Can just imagine the amount of financing that will go to take care of 3 kids could have been spent on you after having the first kid.
A lot of us feel trapped by our own lives and choices.
But there is only one life where you make your choices, let them not be mistakes.
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 7:56 AM
Frankly, I got pregnant 4 times and I have 3 kids. I lost one because it was ectopic. But the last delivery almost killed me. I won't say I do not love my children but the pregnancies were not planned. I was taking birth control pills yet fate seems to have played games with me 4 times, giving me 3 children. For each of those pregnancies, I felt duped out of a lot of things. I lost my career, I lost my independence, I lost a lot of time for my self development. I had dreams but I could not fulfill those dreams due to family issues and motherhood. Even if I know I can regain those independencies once more, I know I cannot focus 100% on them anymore since I have to divide my time by 3 kids. The last pregnancy was worst than the first two since I delivered via C-section and lost my entire reproductive system during the procedure. I am now forced-menopausing at 40 and my body isn't as it used to be. For obvious reasons - no more ovaries, no more hormones, no more sources of estrogen. I have to take almost 17 pills of supplements a day when I only took 2 types of supplements before the 3rd pregnancy. I need to do that unless I want to age faster than most women my age. Pregnancy is okay, as long as you're not the one having the baby. I disliked the attention given to my stomach as if I wasn't there. I disliked the fact that I bloated, got deformed, lost a few teeth in the process. What people tend to forget is the fact that when a woman is pregnant, everything is over-rated and she is hyper sensitive to a lot of things and our being overly emotional during the 9 months get misconstrued. On top of having one foot in the grave each time I delivered, I never even got a "thank you" note from their father who's so dense into thinking he's God's gift to me. Whether I love a man or not - pregnancy is still an unwanted issue for me, even if I already lost both ovaries and my entire uterus - its still something that makes me shudder. When I woke up in the observation room after my C-section/hysterectomy operation - my husband told me I had a hysterectomy and they took everything - the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Thank God I don't have to get pregnant ever again" Thats how much I hated getting pregnant. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 5:53 AM
personally from my own experience, i find the whole aspect of pregnancy disgusting and disagreable. i went through it 12 years ago and now i have a morbid fear of the idea. you have absolutely no privacy as a woman when u become pregant. for months your most intimate actions (sexual intercourse)is on show for everyone to see through a disgusting bulging belly.if you are one of the lucky few you wont suffer the shame of body totally distroyed by stretchmarks and other scars of pregnacy such as protuding varicose veins or spider viens where everyone can see them. further, if you are lucky, you will have a husband who will still appreciate your and your body for what it has become through the pregnacy. however, there are certain realities that women have to face such as the man in their like finding their naked body distasteful and totally unappealiang after a pregnacy.i mean come on really- some of us really have to be honest with ourselves-after the pregnancey, the body really isnt the same for most people.in fact some women admit that they cant even make love to their spouses without the light being turned off. i love my child who is now 12 but i wont lie about the fact that i hate my body after the fact. personally, when a woman decides to get pregnant, she has a lot to consider and i am not just talking about raising a child for the next how many years. i am refering to the fact that she may well lose her confidence, self esteem, etc. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 4:35 AM
Though I have never experienced pregnancy or childbirth, I made the film 'Bun in the Oven' which you can watch on this site, as an imagining of what the experience might be like. I imagined that pregnancy felt nothing like the wholesome, scientific biological process as which it is usually presented, but much more visceral, emotional and frightening. In a way I wanted to reclaim this experience of women's bodies from a medical context, and explore it in a personal and subjective way. It's eight years since I made the film, and I'm still contemplating and anticipating pregnancy and childbirth! |
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Posted on Monday, April 16, 2007 2:48 PM
I am well aware that giving birth is beautiful and that we women have a God-like power to create life, a power solely ours and not to be mimicked, although men like Dr. Frankenstein have tried. Nevertheless, I cannot help but see the pregnant body as tortured, instead of as beautiful. Maybe I am expressing some kind of chauvinist point of view: Now that I think about it, I truly cannot remember any societies celebrating the pregnant woman. All regimes have always celebrated woman in her role as a mother (I think of Mussolini’s Fascism as the perfect example) but they have never cherished the pregnant woman. In this instant, I cannot recall seeing sculptures of pregnant female bodies in Roman and Florentine museums, nor paintings or frescoes of Mary of Nazareth pregnant. There exist an exorbitant number of paintings of Mary with baby Jesus, but very few with her bearing her protruding stomach under her flowing vests (It’s possible that the Orthodox Church has more examples of such artworks than the Christian Church). Maybe these are some of the reasons why I, and many young women today, cannot find the pregnant body beautiful or romantic. Or maybe the reason does not lie in the past and history, but in the contemporary female obsession with the perfect body. And the pregnant body, I guess, is not considered perfect… |
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Posted on Monday, April 16, 2007 10:24 AM
I just watched Untitled (Acoustic Country Blues Song) and it made me realise what women Bea must go through. For most pregnancy is a joyous occasion but here it seems fraught with so many problems. I wonder how she is coping now? |
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