Grossesse
Vous avez un polichinelle dans le tiroir? Est-ce que cela vous rend rayonnante ou bien est-ce que vous vous sentez aussi gonflée qu’un poisson globe ?
Entre les nausées matinales et les fringales, la prise de poids et une vessie difficile à contrôler, les tenants et les aboutissants de la grossesse ont de quoi occuper toute femme. Rencontrez la comédienne de New York, Carolyn Castiglia, qui nous emmène dans un voyage hilarant sur les réalités des cours de Lamaze, des joies de l’anesthésie et des douleurs qu’on ressent à cause des contractions, étalée sur un lit d’hôpital.
Que se passe-t-il quand un bébé n’est pas souhaité? Rencontrez l’Autrichienne, Andrea Huber, une mère célibataire qui assume sa grossesse seule et cherche à démonter l’idéal glorieux qu’a la société de la grossesse. Et si la grossesse n’est pas une option ? Rencontrez Tertia Albertyn, d’Afrique du Sud, tandis qu’elle fait face à une dépression après neuf cycles de FIV. Que va-t-elle faire quand, la première fois qu’elle réussit à tomber enceinte, elle met au monde Ben, un bébé dont le cerveau est mort et qui pèse « moins ….qu’un paquet de sucre ”?
Joignez-vous à la conversation et impliquez-vous grâce à notre page Agissez.! tandis que les femmes du monde entier partagent leurs pensées sur cet effort de 9 mois pour le corps et l’esprit. A travers ces histoires pleines d’inspiration et une mosaïque d’explorations multimédia, nous nous réunissons pour parler des joies et des défis de la conception, de l’accouchement et du long chemin entre ces deux événements.
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After giving birth to my beautiful daughter in the month of December 2003, the meaning of the word pregnancy changed forever for me. My choice to bear our child, the child of someone I found complete faith and love with, was culminated in those precious few months before giving birth to Lyla. Never before did I feel ‘full’, like a pot of water on a really hot day. There was a feeling of fulfillment and completion. Pregnancy as my grandmother would say – cannot be put in words but felt and experienced in skin.
What were your experiences of pregnancy like? I invite and welcome you to join this conversation and share your thoughts on pregnancy
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Posted on Sunday, April 22, 2007 6:34 AM
To Sonja, don't worry. Everything will be just fine. To all the women out there...believe me, it is a beautiful experience to be a mother. You can choose the name, the dress, the colour for his/her room, the way to raise your child and lots more. Children are always children...bear with them and they will be just fine. Enjoy your pregnancy and the delivery. Experience the beauty of breastfeeding and the extra pounds that you are going to put on. Be happy during your pregnancy and your baby will be exactly like you....Love your baby and enjoy your life. Pray and have faith...be strong. Believe me, you are not going to regret having a baby. You would want more after the first one.... |
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Posted on Friday, April 20, 2007 5:46 AM
I am pregnant right now and my son will come in 2 months. So far my pregnancy was uncomplicated and I don´t feel overly bloated or fat. I really enjoy the feeling my son gives me when he is moving inside of me. I never thought I would be that overwhelmed by those little movements. And you can already feel the connection. When I startle he startles just seconds after me inside of me. It is in a way unbelieveable. But I am not someone who sees everything through pinkcoloured glasses. The financial situation of my husband and me is not the best. I am a freelancer and we are largely dependend on the money I make. I will take some time off after the birth but will have to go back to work as soon as it is possible. I know that my husband will help and two grandmothers are just waiting to be able to help, so all in all it is not a bad situation but still I am always afraid if we will be able to provide enough for him, if we will be able to guide him and show him the right way or at least some way? Will he find his way in this ever-changing world? Will my husband and I find a common way of raising a child? How will our relationship change? Having a baby and working is stressful. Am I strong enough to handle both, work and raising a child? Questions after Questions. Having a child is not only a joyful occasion. It also changes your life completely. It will never be exactly as it once was. And I do not think it is wrong to admit that sometimes you wish your old life back. Little children are demanding and by nature egotistic. They don´t care how stressed you are. I think a pregnancy and having a child is at the same time wonderful and joyous and very very scary.
But each woman faces that question one day. Children, yes or no? I have a lot of friends without children, who openly admit, not to want any. They are all in financially stable and good situations and I just look at them and their plans till they are pensioners which is to work and to go for holidays and to go out for dinner, generally speaking, to just care for yourself and your own selfish needs for the rest of your life. I don´t think it is wrong to do that but I never wanted that for myself. To me this seems like such an empty life. But I don´t know, may be two years from now I will be jeaulous of them! |
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Posted on Thursday, April 19, 2007 10:31 PM
We wish many couples like Bea all the luck for their endeavors to solve the ever-complex issue of conceiving and the process of pregnancy. And hope sincerely that they feel a swell in their womb very soon.
Would like to raise the issue about the role of the partner, family and friends during those nine anticipated months?
It is true that in many ways father are frequently not liable in raising their children. Are we as individuals, trying to change the perception by involving them more in a process which is clearly more intimate and physical to women?
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Posted on Thursday, April 19, 2007 4:39 AM
"Is it not possible to let go the feeling of control, to let down your defenses and try giving many orphans a chance? Is holding life inside you bigger than being a parent? Is it so restraining that no other option seems to open doors?"
Adoption is such a complex issue it really needs a forum of its own. Most infertile couples are, first and foremost, just trying to take the easiest path to parenthood. It's not a simple matter of being restrained by the notion of pregnancy (or genetics), couples are also being restrained (or in some cases prohibited) by practical, personal and ethical issues surrounding adoption. Like I said, it's a whole subject on its own.
It might, however, be a good place to point out the health benefits of pregnancy. A quick look around the exhibit can tell you of the risks and unpleasantness, but pregnancy and breastfeeding also lowers your chance of reproductive cancers. As someone who's seen death, illness and ongoing, physical side-effects related to such cancers in close family members, I personally do find it hard to walk away from something which will reduce my risk - for my own sake, of course, but also for the sake of my family and the children I bring into it. Heck, it's even made me eat brocoli.
Bea |
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Posted on Wednesday, April 18, 2007 9:50 AM
I'm a photographer currently working on a book of photography about mothers and motherhood; what it is to be a mother, how and if one can parent well while maintaining a sense of self, etc. I'm located in New york and have been photographing and interviewing many wonderful women here for two years now. I was inspired by the openness and honesty of many of the women on this site in regards to a subject people often feel they have to be either positive and chirpy about or totally and fully opposed to. There isn't room allowed to express a lot of ambiguity and uncertainty in regards to feelings towards motherhood and how it may change your life or yourself. Mothers are simultaneously sanctified, given impossible standards to live up to, and reviled at the first sign of trouble with a child, in a way fathers are commonly exempt from. It seems to be, ultimately , mostly on their shoulders how their children turn out. Is there truth to that?
Please contact me if you are in the NYC area and interested in participating in this book project. My website is www.alismith.com and my email is alismith_too@yahoo.com
all the best to all,
Ali |
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Posted on Wednesday, April 18, 2007 1:17 AM
For many pregnancy is something, which is an onset of hope, and for many it holds disappointment.
Disappointment, which leads to hurt, hatred, anger and complete understood biased feelings towards others who perhaps are not in the same situation.
Is it not possible to let go the feeling of control, to let down your defenses and try giving many orphans a chance? Is holding life inside you bigger than being a parent? Is it so restraining that no other option seems to open doors?
Of course it is difficult but each change that we make, though perhaps rare, can herald hopes and joys in many different ways.
Life does take you down a very rocky path and pregnancy could just be one of them.
And if abortion done 14 times on a body is allowed then I wonder whether these women even have a choice to live?
Fear has to be discarded in order to generate awareness and support for women’s basic rights.
And perhaps portal like IMOW are harbingers of such change.
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Posted on Wednesday, April 18, 2007 12:41 AM
To be mother is one of the noblest things on earth but to be mother of daughters is considered to be a curse in the context of Indian sub-continent but if you are mother of sons even if they are worthless is always a blessing. Whenever any woman is pregnant she is given the blessing 'Doodo Nahaw Pooto Phalo' which means that may you be blssed with male children which again speakks of status of girl child in society. How long it will take us to change this centuries old Psyche of the traditional and conservative forces of our society? To sustain and nurture creation in her womb is the clear cut proof of women's strength. Whenever I will be a mother I would prefer to be mother of a girlchild rather than a boy. |
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Posted on Wednesday, April 18, 2007 12:05 AM
Being Unmarried I have no experience but to be the harbringer of life on earth is one of the most beautiful experience for a human being. Whether Paegnancy is a burden or a blessing is strongly dependent on circumstances. In the context of Kashmir where generally people give preference to a male child how can a woman feel when she is made to go a series of abortions 14 times because she had a female baby in her wound and was allowed to have her 15th feotus because it was a male feotus. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 8:26 PM
Thanks Niyati Sharma for asking - I'm doing well, considering it's been one week since my D&C, a procedure in which they removed the "non-viable products of conception" from my uterus under anaesthetic. We are now waiting for the results of testing, which may or may not tell us why the pregnancy didn't continue, and our followup appointment with a recurrent miscarriage unit in Sydney. We will go through the usual process of reviewing our options - trying again, donor gametes/embryos, adoption, childlessness (it all looks so good!) - and thus complete another cycle of hope and loss and grief.
I have to say, I understand the comments from those who want to make the point that pregnancy and motherhood isn't always glamorous or joyous, that it leads to a loss of control, privacy, and self-esteem. Based on my own history and what I see in others - whether fertile or not, whether working towards parenthood or not - it seems these are things we all face as we age, regardless of individual experience.
It seems at some point, no matter who you are or what you're doing, life will take you down a peg or two. You'll have to learn that you can't always call the shots. You'll have to learn that things change, physically and permanently, and sometimes for the worse. Pregnancy and parenting can teach you that, or it might be infertility, or it might be something else entirely, but the result is the same. You're left feeling unsettled, unsure, scarred and ugly, lost. I guess it's what my grandmother, in her wise and quiet way, would call "growing up".
Bea |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 6:37 PM
I must say that it is better to be pregnant and know how it feels than not to have been and wish all your life for one. I am trying to get pregnant and i must say it is harder for some women and doesnt it beat ur imagination that so many women have unwanted pregnancies while some others would do almost anything to just have the morning sickness. I had a miscarriage last year after one year of trying and i can tell you it felt as real as losing a baby that was born at term. I must tell u that consciously trying to have a baby is time consuming. All i think about every month is ...o pls let me not see that red stuff. and right now i am putting on some weight and eveytime i want to start some exercise i wonder if it might stop a foetus from implanting. But i am definitely looking forward to it again even though the morning sickness was something else. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 1:16 PM
Having been one of 11 children I have lived with a woman who has spent roughly 8 1/2 yearsof her life being pregnant. Whilst this has not always been easy for her she has certainly lived what she tells me- "charlotte- when you give yourself- your very being for love- then you will be happy and find yourself.' Many woman would feel she had lost her independence, was subservient in constantly taking care of my siblings and hadn't really had a fulfilling life. My own conviction is that she is the most generous and loving woman in the world. The real proof however is that she is also the happiest woman I know. I pity those woman who see the self-giving and sacrifice of pregnancy as a burden because a child is always a blessing. As my mother has shown me, when your happiness is rooted in others you can bear almost anything. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 10:44 AM
I have been through 3 pregnancies, one of them I miscarried, and I do not want to be pregnant again. I love my children, and would like more but I do not want to go through another pregnancy to have them. All 3 pregnancies went smooth, no morning sickness, or any other difficulties up to labor and birth. However, I can't handle the changes my body goes through with the pregnancy. I don't enjoy the bulging belly, the loss of indpendence (I couldn't tie my shoes with the first one, and had the laces lose the next time so I could slip out of them), and being uncomfortable most of the time. I do not like being pregnant, even though it brings forth a blessing and lots of joy. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 8:20 AM
Unfortunate as it might be pregnancy is not a joyous occasion for many. I am sure many of us might desire a shorter gestation period, perhaps the man getting pregnant?
I remember my decision to go through natural labor and the help of a mid-wife. And how it did not work for me. After spending nearly 36 hours of contractions, I delivered my daughter through a C-section. I left the hospital after 10 days instead of 1 that i had dreamt of with painful stitches and a changed body.
I agree with Ms. Yyhanne that the body changes.
But I urge to ask you a question; do we not age if we don’t have children? If we do care for our bodies so much why is it that we cannot take care of it after giving birth? Why do we let go?
Can we not look at our strengths from within and work towards a better self-esteem than finding it in our partners, parents, religion or friends?
Awareness of better health and sex education, better diet, exercise and support groups could go a long way for those of us who feel the lack of esteem and confidence.
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 8:16 AM
i haven't had my own pregnancy yet, but i do look forward to it, and i intend to do it twice. its a beautiful thing to create life. I have been with my sister in the last stages of her two pregnancies and i can remember how much intrigue and joy i had to be able to touch and feel the baby move, feel the elbows, its knees and just naturally fall in love with it.Now its been 12 and 9 years since then and its a joy to see the kids and imagine that they were what i was touching has now become full grown life, running and jumping about the whole place.
I look forward to my pregnancy next year and i will writ to let you know how it went. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 8:13 AM
Ms. Aquino lets hope if out of your 3 children there are some girls you would remember to tell your story to them.
I wonder was the option of abortion not available to you? Can just imagine the amount of financing that will go to take care of 3 kids could have been spent on you after having the first kid.
A lot of us feel trapped by our own lives and choices.
But there is only one life where you make your choices, let them not be mistakes.
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 7:56 AM
Frankly, I got pregnant 4 times and I have 3 kids. I lost one because it was ectopic. But the last delivery almost killed me. I won't say I do not love my children but the pregnancies were not planned. I was taking birth control pills yet fate seems to have played games with me 4 times, giving me 3 children. For each of those pregnancies, I felt duped out of a lot of things. I lost my career, I lost my independence, I lost a lot of time for my self development. I had dreams but I could not fulfill those dreams due to family issues and motherhood. Even if I know I can regain those independencies once more, I know I cannot focus 100% on them anymore since I have to divide my time by 3 kids. The last pregnancy was worst than the first two since I delivered via C-section and lost my entire reproductive system during the procedure. I am now forced-menopausing at 40 and my body isn't as it used to be. For obvious reasons - no more ovaries, no more hormones, no more sources of estrogen. I have to take almost 17 pills of supplements a day when I only took 2 types of supplements before the 3rd pregnancy. I need to do that unless I want to age faster than most women my age. Pregnancy is okay, as long as you're not the one having the baby. I disliked the attention given to my stomach as if I wasn't there. I disliked the fact that I bloated, got deformed, lost a few teeth in the process. What people tend to forget is the fact that when a woman is pregnant, everything is over-rated and she is hyper sensitive to a lot of things and our being overly emotional during the 9 months get misconstrued. On top of having one foot in the grave each time I delivered, I never even got a "thank you" note from their father who's so dense into thinking he's God's gift to me. Whether I love a man or not - pregnancy is still an unwanted issue for me, even if I already lost both ovaries and my entire uterus - its still something that makes me shudder. When I woke up in the observation room after my C-section/hysterectomy operation - my husband told me I had a hysterectomy and they took everything - the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Thank God I don't have to get pregnant ever again" Thats how much I hated getting pregnant. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 5:53 AM
personally from my own experience, i find the whole aspect of pregnancy disgusting and disagreable. i went through it 12 years ago and now i have a morbid fear of the idea. you have absolutely no privacy as a woman when u become pregant. for months your most intimate actions (sexual intercourse)is on show for everyone to see through a disgusting bulging belly.if you are one of the lucky few you wont suffer the shame of body totally distroyed by stretchmarks and other scars of pregnacy such as protuding varicose veins or spider viens where everyone can see them. further, if you are lucky, you will have a husband who will still appreciate your and your body for what it has become through the pregnacy. however, there are certain realities that women have to face such as the man in their like finding their naked body distasteful and totally unappealiang after a pregnacy.i mean come on really- some of us really have to be honest with ourselves-after the pregnancey, the body really isnt the same for most people.in fact some women admit that they cant even make love to their spouses without the light being turned off. i love my child who is now 12 but i wont lie about the fact that i hate my body after the fact. personally, when a woman decides to get pregnant, she has a lot to consider and i am not just talking about raising a child for the next how many years. i am refering to the fact that she may well lose her confidence, self esteem, etc. |
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Posted on Tuesday, April 17, 2007 4:35 AM
Though I have never experienced pregnancy or childbirth, I made the film 'Bun in the Oven' which you can watch on this site, as an imagining of what the experience might be like. I imagined that pregnancy felt nothing like the wholesome, scientific biological process as which it is usually presented, but much more visceral, emotional and frightening. In a way I wanted to reclaim this experience of women's bodies from a medical context, and explore it in a personal and subjective way. It's eight years since I made the film, and I'm still contemplating and anticipating pregnancy and childbirth! |
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Posted on Monday, April 16, 2007 2:48 PM
I am well aware that giving birth is beautiful and that we women have a God-like power to create life, a power solely ours and not to be mimicked, although men like Dr. Frankenstein have tried. Nevertheless, I cannot help but see the pregnant body as tortured, instead of as beautiful. Maybe I am expressing some kind of chauvinist point of view: Now that I think about it, I truly cannot remember any societies celebrating the pregnant woman. All regimes have always celebrated woman in her role as a mother (I think of Mussolini’s Fascism as the perfect example) but they have never cherished the pregnant woman. In this instant, I cannot recall seeing sculptures of pregnant female bodies in Roman and Florentine museums, nor paintings or frescoes of Mary of Nazareth pregnant. There exist an exorbitant number of paintings of Mary with baby Jesus, but very few with her bearing her protruding stomach under her flowing vests (It’s possible that the Orthodox Church has more examples of such artworks than the Christian Church). Maybe these are some of the reasons why I, and many young women today, cannot find the pregnant body beautiful or romantic. Or maybe the reason does not lie in the past and history, but in the contemporary female obsession with the perfect body. And the pregnant body, I guess, is not considered perfect… |
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Posted on Monday, April 16, 2007 10:24 AM
I just watched Untitled (Acoustic Country Blues Song) and it made me realise what women Bea must go through. For most pregnancy is a joyous occasion but here it seems fraught with so many problems. I wonder how she is coping now? |
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