Parenting
Parenting is the oldest and most important job in the world and there are no schools to prepare you for it. You’re left to your own wiles, hearsay and parenting books. Everyone expects that women naturally possess a maternal instinct, a capacity for unconditional love and inherent insight for raising happy, responsible and healthy human beings. But do they really? Is good parenting really an innate quality? How do we learn to raise our children in the right way?
From the Unites States, meet Polly Pagenhart, a parent who identifies as a LesbianDad and questions the mainstream concepts of motherhood and gender. Then step into the world of Francesca and Sonia, two women who proudly exclaim that they are both genetic mothers to their son and daughter.
In Turkey, afflicted by poverty, unemployment and a bad marriage, Hayriye Ipin struggles to raise her children. She attends a school that educates mothers on how to be better parents, and through her experience, learns how to be a loving mother and see her children as a blessing, not a curse.
In South Africa, the renowned radio personality Sam Cowen writes a tongue-in-cheek account of raising her son Christopher and learning to be satisfied as a career mom by believing in God, relaxing and, when in doubt, reminding herself: “If Americans can do it, ANYONE can.”
Read stories from women around the world and join the conversation.
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Raising children is an enormous challenge where an array of cultural, social, economic and political factors intertwine. The way we have been brought up, whether we are working or stay at home moms, married or involved in romantic relationships, help form our ideals on how to make the new generation better than the one before.
Mothers are great artists of day-to-day life; the anonymous sculptors of new generations of women and men in the world. We invite you to share with us your adventures and transformations in this creative odyssey that is raising children.
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Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 10:15 PM
Jasmine, Your mother has a hard time with you because of how you were concieved, it is hard for her. As for your questions, in my opinion children are a part of our lives, but also in the beginning they are our lives because they are helpless and need to learn how to move their bodies. As for people viewing children as burdens, well I would look to their own personalities and their past. Children in a way are burdens because of all the care that is required to raise them, but a parent only needs to look at all the laughter and joy they bring to know that it is all worth it. As for making decisions about the child it should be a together decision, the parents should be partners that work together on all levels. Have more than two children doesn't prevent you from knowing your children individually, remember that a child is always growing and changing. Again the decision about how many should be decided by both parents. Congratulations on your graduation :) My only advice about children and partners is to approach it with unconditional love and to find yourself first with unconditional love for yourself, For when you stand as an individual that knows themselves and loves themselves unconditionally then you can love another. |
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Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 6:38 PM
As a future mother, several questions come to my mind when I think of having children. I was convinced after my mother was raped. My grandmother raised me till after she passed away, I relocated to the United States to be with my mother. My mother wa a herrible parent for the longest time, I swear there is no maternal bone in her body. Whenever I did anything she did not approve, she would remind me that "I'm messing up her plans". I could never fully understand why the woman who gave me life could not come to terms with my existence.
Now that I'm in my early 20s and I'm beginning to think about motherhood. I ask myself these questions
1. Are children suppose to be a part of our life or they do they become our life?
2. Why do some people view having children as being burdens?
3. Which parent should make the most decision about their child? Mother or father?
4. Does having more than 2 children prevents you from creating time to know each of your children individually.
5. Which parent should decide about how many children should be born?
I have worked so hard to overcome a lot of negativity. I'm graduting University in 48 hours and heading straight to graduate school. My education is extremely important to me and until I complete it, I will not have any child. The issue I sometimes wonder about is.... how do you know you are ready to become a parent? |
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Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 2:39 PM
I am not a mother and I do not plan to be one for a very long time. But I know one thing for sure: motherhood will never just happen to me. Motherhood is going to be something that I will consciously decide on, plan, organize and execute. Like a petty bureaucrat I will study meticulously all my variables, pie charts and graphs, I will consult accountants, sociologists, neurologists and traveling agents, I will select the perfect husband, perfect schools and perfect country to raise my children in.
Yes, all this must sound terribly mechanical and unromantic, but I really do not believe that motherhood is romantic. Giving birth is not romantic; working hard so that you can clothe and feed your children is not romantic; worrying and suffering all the time over your children’s desires, dreams, and daily frustrations is not romantic. Because child’s scraped knee, bloody nose, breakup and disappointment is always more painful for the mother than the child herself.
Romantic is not a word I would use in relation to parenting and children. But magic is. Children are magical, like unicorns they come from an enchanted place and make your ordinary life more meaningful, surprising and rich. They come from you: they might look like you but they might also resemble a distant and little-liked grandparent; they might think like you but they might also be your most outspoken denouncers; they might follow your footsteps or hotheadedly part ways. But they will always be yours and you theirs and your lives a fairy-tale. And like with all fairy-tales, there will be obstacles to overcome, evil spirits to fight, witches to ward off, but also a happy ending to rejoice in.
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Posted on Thursday, May 17, 2007 12:05 PM
I never suspected how being a mother would change not only your life but your deeper beliefs about what it means to live and to exist. It fosters an intense reconstruction of your inner self and your life as a whole because your decisions are now based on more factors than ever. You are the giver and teacher of life for a new being. You are the conductor of a new orchestra in which your ideas and decisions create music for a new show.
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